


Traditional American Halloween Pumpkin Carving

by McBangle



Series: McBangle's Check, Please Halloween 2016 [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Falconer TV, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Providence Falconers, Pumpkins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8328046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McBangle/pseuds/McBangle
Summary: Tater and Jack demonstrate traditional American Halloween pumpkin carving for Falconer TV.





	

"Hello, Falconer TV!" The scene opens with the camera zoomed in tight on Tater's face, before pulling back to show him seated at a table next to Jack Zimmermann. Atop several spread out newspapers, an impressively large pumpkin, a fine point marker and a carving knife sit on the table between them. "Zimmboni and I are here today to demonstrate the Traditional American Halloween Pumpkin Carving!" He elbows Jack. "Zimmboni! Why they pick the Russian and the Canadian for this video?"

Jack smiles charmingly. "I think they chose us for the irony."

"Or to make us look like fools," Tater adds. "But we will show them! We don't need their help to look like fools; we do that well enough on our own, don't we, Zimmboni!" Tater laughs so hard at his own joke that viewers can count his molars.

"Step One for Traditional American Halloween Pumpkin Carving!" Tater waggles one finger at the camera. "Choose your pumpkin! As you can see, we have perfect pumpkin specimen right here. Zimmboni! This look like good pumpkin for pie, no? Your girlfriend make me pumpkin pie?"

"Actually," Jack explains, "bakers use a different kind of pumpkin for pie. Carving pumpkins don't have enough flesh to make a good pie."

Tater looks crestfallen. "No traditional American pumpkin pie?"

Jack laughs. "Something tells me you'll be eating your fill of traditional American pumpkin pie before you know it."

"Step two!" Tater waggles two fingers at the camera. Jack gives a barely-perceptible jump, taken by surprise by the rapid change in tone. "Cut off pumpkin top and scoop out insides!" He leans forward confidentially and speaks in a stage whisper. "Viewers, I let you in on little secret. We cheat!" He lifts the crown off the pumpkin with a flourish. "P.R. Department say 'We no show scooping insides of pumpkin in this video. Take too long. Much boring.' _But_..." He leans forward again and resumes his stage whisper. "We cheat again!" He continues in his regular, booming voice. "Zimmboni and me make video of scooping insides anyway, and now we show you highlights. Roll clip!"

Jack looks about expectantly. Tater laughs uproariously. "Zimmboni. They add that in the post-production. But don't worry, we keep part where you put pumpkin guts in my hair." As he speaks, a makeup artist artfully arranges pumpkin guts and seeds in Tater's hair.

After the makeup artist finishes up and walks away, Tater looks about the room. "We ready? OK?" The cameraperson gives him a thumb's up. "OK!"

Tater turns to Jack with mock outrage on his face. "Zimmboni! Why you put the pumpkin guts in my hair? It is what the American girls call the gross, no?"

Jack laughs. "Yes."

Tater pulls a string of guts and seeds out of his hair and dangles it in front of Jack's face. "Maybe I put in your hair!"

"No!" Jack laughs and ducks away.

"Is OK, Zimmboni." Tater shakes the remaining guts and seeds out of his hair as best he can. "Step three!" He holds three fingers up on his left hand while holding up the marker with his right. "Draw face on pumpkin! What kind face you want, Zimmboni?"

"I was thinking we could draw our mascot, the falcon," Jack suggests.

"No, no, no, Zimmboni!" Tater chides him. "That not Traditional American Jack O'Lantern! Traditional American Jack O'Lantern have triangle eyes and nose and jaggedy mouth."

"That's true," Jack agrees.

Tater makes quick work of drawing a simple face on the pumpkin.

"Step four!" He wiggles four fingers at the camera. "Carve your pumpkin!"

"Is it time?" Jack asks, his hand hovering over the carving knife.

"It's time!" Tater confirms. 

Jack carefully carves the pumpkin while Tater makes amusing reaction poses. "They do fast-forward for this part," he explains to Jack.

Several minutes later, Jack sets the knife down, satisfied with his work. Tater crows over it. "Zimmboni! Is beautiful work. You could be surgeon!"

"Step five!" He turns back to the camera, displaying all five fingers on his right hand. "Light up your pumpkin! Zimmboni! You cover eyes!"

Jack looks surprised. "Why?"

"Is surprise for you! Shoo, shoo, Zimmboni! Cover eyes! Cover eyes for surprise!"

Jack gamely complies. He hears a chair scraping, whispering voices and something being moved around. After a few minutes, Tater directs him to "open eyes now, Zimmboni!"

One white LED flickers inside the base of the jack o'lantern, while two small blue LEDs shine through the eye holes. Tater can barely contain his mirth. "Is a Jack O'Zimmermann! You like, Zimmboni?"

Jack smiles genuinely. "I like it very much." 

"Good bye, Falconer TV!" Tater waves at the camera. "Happy Halloween!"

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed. My most sincere apologies if I butchered Tater's speech patterns.
> 
> I probably won't be able to do every day, but I have a couple more fics planned for this event. Thanks to omgericzimmermann for setting this up!


End file.
